A very intoxicated 16 year old enters triage:
Me: So what can I do for you today?
Drunk 16 yr-old (slurring her words): I had a lot to drink....only Sir Sam's...no drugs...I don't do that and I was outside and now my hands are yellow. And before my face was yellow.
Concerned Mother: Yeah, it's weird. She was outside for a long time and now her hands are yellow! They aren't going to fall off are they???
Me: What were you doing outside? Where were you?
Drunk 16 yr-old: Just at McDonalds. Nowhere else. I had fries and a milkshake. But no drugs. Are my hands going to fall off?
Me: Did you try washing your hands?
It was at this point I grabbed some cleaning solution, put them on a gauze and started to wipe the patient's hands...and amazingly whatever yellow crap was on them wiped off onto the gauze!
Me: Maybe you should have washed your hands.
Concerned Mother: So her hands aren't going to fall off?
And this boys and girls is the reason that some people should not be allowed to reproduce. I thank you for your attention.