Friday, September 24, 2010

Practical Joke Fail

I have a friend at work who is sort of like a little sister. We get each other's sense of humour and she's a bit of an old soul as I can be once in a while. However our inner adolescents like to come out once in a while. A couple of months back we were having a quiet shift and I started teasing her via texting (this was pre AssPhones...see previous post for further info). She then attempted to make a homemade water gun out of a glove. That attempt failed terribly and left my lower back (and other body parts) soaking wet. Being the big sister I decided to take it upon myself to educate my friend on how to do a practical joke. So on her break another colleague and I wrapped up her car in toilet paper and paper towel. It was by far one of the best car toilet paper jobs ever. I was quite proud of my self until I got a call 45 minutes before shift change. Apparently we had toilet papered...the WRONG CAR! Yikes!

Practical joke fail!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Tampon Man

And the award for the most innovative patient goes to (insert drumroll here):

The man who showed up with a bad nosebleed and a tampon in each nostril. They're super absorbent and expand to fit all your natural curves!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Vibrate Mode

Yikes! I sort of fell off the grid there for a while! You know how life throws those crazy curveballs at you though. Running out of milk, doing laundry, taking the kiddies swimming, feeding the dog..and before you know it it's been two months since a blog entry has been logged.

Life in the ER continues on as normal. We just moved into a new department a year ago. Everything is shiny and new...well, WAS shiny and new. New monitors, new portable ultrasound machine, new stretchers, new toilet paper holders that allow your 15 second pee break to become a 5 minute one as you desperately try to rip off enough paper from the roll, new tracking system...the list goes on. Our newest addition? Small portable phones that allow you to call the separate departments, charge nurse and docs. I assumed that our tracking system was what was supposed to help us figure out where people are, but whatever. It even allows us to text. This lovely feature is used quite a bit I discovered when going through the phone history one night. It included medically relevant texts such as "hey blue zone nurse you look hot in your orange shirt" and "i want to kill dr (insert name)". On the front of these phones is the brand nam AsCom. We have appropriately renamed these the AssPhones. Anyone fortunate enough to carry these around will put them in their back pocket..and turn it on vibrate. I have yet to have to carry one of these around, however I think I now know why the charge nurses look so much happier these days!